Okay, so some of you are probably wondering why I haven't written in a while. Well, the truth is that the answer is two fold. The smaller of the two reasons is that there is not much to write about. However, the main reason and the real reason is that my grandmother died. So, I decided to give myself some time before I wrote about my life and books again. Also, since she lived in another state I really didn't have time for almost a week to even come near a computer. However, now that it has been close to two weeks since it happened, I feel that I can share with you some observations I made down in Mississippi.
Mississippi, is obviously deep south. Most northerners would joke that it is practically a different country, and if one was going by culture alone, then I would have to agree. Generally speaking, while the north is fast-paced and only has time for impersonal and colder dealings, the south usually enjoys a much slower pace where people generally take a moment to smile at you even if they have no idea who you are. The families there are bigger and cousins who have not seen or heard from each other most of their lives speak like they just had a conversation yesterday. For someone like myself who has experienced both worlds for my entire life such experience seem perfectly normal and I always like heading down there. I feel welcomed by everyone, while usually it is difficult to find such ready inclusion in the north. Now, I'm not saying that northerners are unfriendly, quite the opposite, but for northerners it takes a little bit for most of them to warm up, while southerners are ready the second you walk through the door. I guess that what I'm trying to say is that the south is a very pleasant relief to those who find the north a little abrasive. My father, who has not been south of the Mason-Dixon line, excluding Florida, in close to 18 years, was constantly saying how much he missed the people there. How they were just much more respectful of well, everything, and how when it comes down to it, even at a funeral they are much quicker to sit down and celebrate the life of that person as opposed to the death.
I'm not sure about anybody else, but at my funeral, I would be much happier to know that people were sharing good memories,cracking jokes and generally being free with the laughs and the tears over the food, rather than being pridefully indifferent, hiding their tears or making them a show later. I'm not going to say that tears are ridiculous, because they are necessary and healing, but so is laughter. And if I had a choice, I'd rather be laughed over than cried over and I know that my grandmother would have it the same way. I'm not saying that tears are unacceptable, because it is just the opposite. I value grief and think that over all our culture, mainly this youth-obsessed, old is a four letter word culture, has got it wrong. We want people to be happy all the time, we want people to get over their grief and mourning quickly, because tears seem counter-intuitive to that impossible dream we seem to all strive for. That dream that says, you must always be happy and always be young in both appearance, thought and soul, or you have missed out. But the truth is that without the grieving, we can never truly appreciate the laughter. Without the aging, we can not appreciate our youth or gain the wisdom bought by it. Hey, I don't want to grow old, but considering the only other alternative is to die, I'll take the getting old. Perhaps if we could learn to age gracefully, accepting the ageing but still allowing ourselves to be young at heart so that we don't become cynical, and placed value on the wisdom that every wrinkle should speak of, then maybe more people would be happier with this life they've been given. Maybe grief could be seen as something beautiful and deeper than happiness. Maybe it could finally be something we accept rather than reject and make peace with the fact that we're human and that's okay.
Maybe, that's why I write. Maybe, that's why all writers write. We seek to find acceptance and paths into our humanity past the walls and taboos that society has placed around us. We seek to speak truths about life, love, death and hate. We seek to tickle the psyches of people with hidden truths who would otherwise balk at them if given bluntly. True, I write fairy tales, but there are deep truths even in the most basic of stories, which is why they stick with us. I don't know, perhaps this has simply become the bewildered rant I was trying to avoid, but be that as it may, some of the most celebrated novels of all time were nothing but cleverly worked rants. Not that this is particularly brilliant, or well worked.
Either way, it is what it is. Now, back to my book. My first book signing is this Saturday and I am very excited! (Sorry to those I just gave whiplash with that sudden subject change) It will be at the Northfield Public Library at 1 and I hope that if you can make it that you will come out! Even if you already own the book and even if you don't! I'll be selling some copies at the end, so you're all good either way.
I have to go. So I promise the next time I write that I'll write about something more uplifting.
Until Then.
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